Why Does My Vulva Hurt?

Welcome to The Pleasure Files and to our very first investigation together.
 

In this episode, I dive straight into a question so many of us carry: why does my vulva hurt?

Before we even start unpacking the whys, I invite you to pause and consider what “hurt” actually means. Because for so many of us, we’ve been taught to live with discomfort, to assume that burning, itching, soreness, or pain are just part of being a woman. But they’re not. It’s possible to have a vulva that feels good: soft, alive, comfortable, delicious.

This episode isn’t just about solving pain. It’s about remembering that your body is not a problem to be managed. She’s a sacred part of you that deserves care, curiosity, and affection.

In this episode, I explore:

• What “hurt” really means when it comes to the vulva
• Some of the causes of pain and discomfort that might be impacting you
• Why our relationship with our own bodies is the real root of healing

If you would like to get in touch, reach out. 

www.thepleasurenaturopath.com

And if this episode provided you with any worth, please consider a 5 start review. It will mean that more women will find the Pod, changing more lives for the better.

Transcript

We are here to get to the bottom of this whole sexuality thing
Welcome to the pleasure files. This is a detective podcast about pleasure, intimacy and sex. 
I’m your host, Naomi Harris, they call me The Pleasure Naturopath.
Let’s investigate.  

Okay, pleasure seekers, welcome to The Pleasure Files, and the first episode of this new series, this new revamp.

Of this podcast.

I'm really, really happy to be having you here, and I'm really excited to be going on these investigations with you all.

As we travel around the body and start looking at all things pleasure, pain, numbness, discomfort.

Desire and the lack of, and all of the other issues that might come up for us as women in these beautiful, incredible.

Complicated, complex bodies that we're so privileged to walk around in.

So today we're starting with… the first investigation is, why does my vulva hurt?

And before we go into the whys, before we start looking at the clues of the investigation.

Let's actually talk about what we mean by hurt.

Cuss.

I think for a lot of us, we're often

A little bit used to things, or we just assume that because something is the way that it is, that means it's the way that it's supposed to be, or just the way that it is for all women.

Without realizing that it's possible to have a vulva.

That doesn't itch, doesn't burn, doesn't feel raw, doesn't feel uncomfortable, doesn't feel strange in underwear, doesn't have to stop sex from happening because it's just not right.

It is possible to have a vulva that just feels good.

And…

That just made me think we actually probably should talk about what are we even talking about when we talk about the vulva.

So, for the purposes of this podcast today, for this pleasure file, what we're talking about when we talk about the vulva is

Anything from your pubic bone, your pubic mound, which is the part of your body that the pubic hair would be growing on if you've got pubic hair.

Or is growing on. All the way down… Past… The clitoris.

Past the urethra, where the pee comes out, past the vaginal entrance, past the perineum, which is the bit between the vaginal entrance and the anus, all the way down to the anus. But we're also going to be talking actually all the way to the base of your spine, to that bone that you've got there.

At the, down between your butt cheeks, because…

this stuff actually impacts that whole area. We're talking about the labia, so the skin on either side of the vulva as well. And for some of us, we're talking about the skin of the groin, which is the crease, where the thighs come up to

pubic area.

And for some of us, we're actually even talking about the butt crack, because we can start… we can have problems that way as well.

So that's what we're talking about. We're talking about this whole area of the body, on the outside of the body.

And we're talking about itching, and burning, and throbbing, and feeling like it's raw skin, or when you put underwear, or jeans, or tight clothes on, and it just feels like there's something not right.

When you have to stop sex, because penetration or rubbing on this area doesn't feel good.

When there is eczema or other skin conditions that are affecting the area, there's also autoimmune conditions and all sorts of things.

That can affect this area.

And everything that we're going to talk about today in this investigation is actually relevant.

To whatever it is that you're experiencing in this part of your body.

So when I use the word hurt.

Talking about whatever it is that you're experiencing.

So, before we get into the clues, the clues that we're going to unravel and that we're going to follow.

There is one more really important thing.

That we need to talk about when it comes to this part of the body.

And the important thing that we need to talk about is… We can't talk about

Discomfort or symptoms in the vulva, or in the genitals.

Without talking about how your relationship, your personal relationship with this part of your body.

It's kind of actually the most important thing that we could ever talk about. The rest of what we're going to talk about matters. It's also important, but this…

What is your relationship to this part of your body? Do you ever touch your vulva except to clean it?

Or if there's a medical problem, or if you're hoping for an orgasm and you're going for something.

Do you ever just touch her because she's there, and she's yours, and she's sacred, and…

She has a value, and she deserves it.

Especially if you have pain.

Or especially if you've had issues or have issues, do you ever just touch her like something that matters?

Do you treat your body like…

It's the most important person in your life.

Do you know how to touch yourself with affection and love? Have you ever considered it?

And that… My truth seekers, my pleasure seekers, is actually the most important thing to consider. What is

Your relationship with your own body.

Okay, that said, let's go on a detective hunt.

Now, this…

Hunt, with these clues, this is not a complete list, by any means. We could talk for hours.

If we were looking for a complete list.

Instead, it's a few signposts, a few things to start considering.

As we start considering what's going on here.

So the first thing that we need to consider is, what's…

actually going on in our bodies? What is the state of our pelvic floors?

Now, the pelvic floor is the muscles that are inside the pelvis, that the,

That the genitals, that the sexual organs, are all nestled into, and are suspended by, and are supported by.

But the pelvic floor also impacts how the nerves flow through the body, and how the body talks to itself. The body and brain talks to itself.

And so we can't… think about… The state of…

Our vulva, or our genitals, without considering our pelvic floors.

That's a little bit beyond this podcast, though, because this is a listening medium, and I can't show you anything.

But it's just… I'm just putting it in there because we can't ignore it.

We've got decades of sitting down.

Which compresses the pelvic floor, which puts us in such bad posture, which… which stops our fluids from draining, stops our nerves from talking.

We have, most of us, decades of moving badly in our bodies, especially if we're wearing high heels, but not even especially, it's just another thing to think about.

If we're sucking in our bellies, or clenching our core, or tucking our butts under to make everything look smaller.

Where is all of that going, and what is it actually doing? It's creating pressure and tension in places that it just shouldn't exist.

Why shouldn't you have a round, soft belly?

Why shouldn't you have a round butt?

Stop sucking, and start relaxing.

And then we've got to think about what is it that we're actually putting on our bodies? What is it that we're doing with our bodies?

If you're wearing underwear, What sort of underwear are you wearing? Are you using synthetics? Synthetic…

fabrics. Are you wearing thongs?

Or G-strings, if you're an Aussie. Because the tension that they create and the way that they create moisture imbalances and move bacteria around the body to places that they shouldn't.

Unless there's a medical reason that you're wearing them, I would really recommend, consider that.

What are my underwear made out of?

What shape are they? What am I washing my underwear in? If you're using chemical laundry detergents, or even worse, those ones that apparently kill bacteria.

And then you're wearing them on your body, and your body is being exposed to whatever residue is on there all day long.

Can you see how that might be causing some trouble? Let alone washing your body, washing your vulva with soap, or fragranced things, or pH, apparently pH balanced washes, or, ones that are supposed to deal with the bacteria?

Your… your vulva doesn't need it. You can wash it with water.

She's beautifully clean, especially once she starts to regulate herself and get away from the chemicals.

And the same goes for clothes that are polyester or, like, plastic-based. We never think about the impact of… I mean, we talk about fast fashion, right? And the impact of that on the earth, but…

What about the impact on our bodies? On our incredible bodies of wearing synthetic fabrics? Like…

There is chemical in all of this, and it messes with our hormones, and it has a vibration, and it doesn't have a vibration of life and health.

That comes into our bodies.

And so on this, now this one, a little bit controversial, and you might not actually want me to say this, but…

Makeup, fake nails, lashes, implants, Botox, fillers… Heavy perfumes.

They create such an impact on the body.

There's just a continuous exposure to chemicals that are messing with your hormones.

They're messing with your detox pathways.

They're messing with your body as a whole, with your mental health.

I used to have…

those fake fingernails that you have to put under the UV light to make them hard, you know those ones? Gel nails, I think they're called?

They messed with my hormones so badly, I wound up in hospital with a bleed in my fallopian tube, which was pain to the point where

It wasn't worth it.

They mess with us in really subtle and really obvious ways.

And so now we have to start thinking about the chemicals that we're putting on our bodies as well, like, you know.

We think that hormonal birth control just stops us from getting pregnant, but what if it's doing a whole lot more than that?

What if it's messing with the vaginal tissues, reducing your lubrication, getting rid of your libido, messing with your microbiome, messing with, actually, who you're attracted to, because you don't smell pheromones in the same way?

So you may actually wind up having sex with people that aren't suited to you.

And then there's, like, yeast infection medications. I have so many clients.

Who are pain clients, pain, not paying, pain clients who come to me because they've had so many rounds of the yeast infection medication that they've completely messed up.

Their biome, and they're in chronic pain that never goes away.

Same with antibiotics.

There is a repercussion for using These… Medicines.

The same with tampons and pads.

The chemicals that are in tampons and pads, it's an unregulated industry. Same with condoms and lube.

Unregulated industry, they can put anything they want in there.

And nobody's thinking about the health of the tissues and what we're absorbing into our body.

Just from using this.

Substances from using these products.

Another thing to think about when it comes to pain, and why your vulva hurts, is…

What we're putting into our bodies in terms of nutrition, in terms of

Feeding ourselves is actually really, really important.

We're living in a society that is pushing thinness over anything else.

Which means we're living in a society where

Our understanding around food is one of fear, or shame, or wrongness, instead of one of… Nutrition and support.

We need fat.

Good fats.

We need meat and collagen to feed our meat and collagen.

We need real food.

We need food.

Chronically skipping meals, laxatives.

Binging and suppressing. As an ex… ex-binge eater.

I know this really, really well.

It has a direct impact on our… Pelvic and vulva health.

And not just because how we feel about ourselves in those moments translates to how we feel about ourselves during sex.

Because what we actually need to be doing is listening to our bodies.

But we don't know how anymore, we don't remember how.

We're not taught how.

We're taught to push through pain or discomfort to make sure that our partner is having a good time, even if we're not.

We're taught that casual sex is a fine, if not celebrated thing to be doing, but does casual sex really care about your arousal levels, and how ready your body is?

For sex?

We're taught to push and go, go, go, and do everything. We can have everything as women, right?

But they're not telling us that chronic high stress and high cortisol levels Totally messes with our hormones.

Which means not only does our libido completely go away, but…

Our tissues also take the brunt of it. And then we've got pain, or we've got problems, we've got dryness. We'll talk about dryness in another episode of The Pleasure Files. I've got a lot to say about dryness as well.

Sleep.

I probably need to do a whole episode on sleep and sex, don't I? Sleep in healthy bodies. We need to sleep.

And more than anything, We need to claim our sex and sexuality for ourselves.

We're passed down generation after generation of fear and shame, And shut down around sexuality.

Sex. Trauma just gets passed down.

From generation to generation.

We have such terrible sex education.

Most of us.

Terrible.

I don't use that word lightly, it's terrible.

I think my sex education was kind of okay. I was handed a book to read.

And I only realized years later, when I found the book again.

in a library or a secondhand store, and I flipped through it out of memory, and I was like, huh, there was a whole chapter on masturbation that somebody cut out of the book that I was given.

I had a religious upbringing, and masturbation obviously wasn't something that was going to be celebrated.

We need to educate ourselves. We need to claim ourselves.

Because the way that we feel about our bodies, and the way that we feel about ourselves, like I said at the beginning of this pleasure file.

It's actually the most important thing.

What is your relationship to yourself?

Are you treating yourself as the most important person in your life?

Are you treating yourself as somebody who deserves to have sex and sexuality and pleasure and intimacy and connection?

Do you touch your own body with affection and love?

Do you rest your hand on your sore bits and go, oh, I know.

But we're in it together, and we're gonna work this out.

Or are you pushing those painful bits away and trying to ignore them?

Using numbing agents.

To try to pretend that there's nothing happening.

Do you know that you're sacred?

Do you know that your vulva, your vagina, your uterus, your cervix, your ovaries, Fallopian tubes.

Do you know that you're sacred?

That you have worth?

And value?

This is the most important clue for today.

You are sacred.

And you have worth.

And value.

No matter what is going on in your vulva.

No matter the pain.

All the other symptoms.

You are sacred.

And you have worth and value.

And that's that.

The pleasure files.

I hope… There were some clues here.

Some trail markers, some arrows pointing you in a direction.

That will, in some way, inspire.

Something for you.

Thank you for listening.

File closed for now. 
If any of today’s clues hit close to home, reach out and let me help you. 
See you next week with another daring case.